As I See It / May 2006
Mother Nature
If an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, an ounce of mother is worth a ton of any other influence.
“Because I say so!”, pronounced with conviction and received as law by generations ,is the ultimate authority for all behaviors and standards from childhood on. It has an abiding impact. The things that Momma says, rules delivered with the assurance of Moses holding stone tablets, and accepted with unquestioning faith or begrudging concession, are the blueprint children rely upon to build their lives.
There’s a “Momma Says” for every situation, from what to say and when to say it to how to handle a wayward husband. There is a right way and a wrong way, and, if there’s any question, Mother’s way is the right way.
Not everything makes sense at the time. Mothers find explanations tedious and time consuming. And, though some things are undeniably true and some courses perfectly obvious, they are on occasion, simply inexplicable on the everyday level. Besides, mothers don’t have to provide a rationale. They aren’t above the law. They are the law. Sometimes, it is twenty years or more before the reasons for what “Momma Says” become clear.
Whether Momma is college educated or schooled in life, the test and retesting of time usually prove her right.
It isn’t because motherhood endows wisdom, intelligence or judgment.
It doesn’t.
Mothers can be as silly and confused as anyone else.
But, choosing the right path for someone else changes the perspective. Unlike the decisions she makes for herself, the choices a mother wants her children to make are not about lesser evils; they are about a greater good. “Do what I say, not what I do” is Mom’s way of making her children’s life better than her own, of making her children better than herself.
Every day, every mother succeeds or fails at something. So many times the successes are obscured by social standards that seem important but have no lasting relevance. Mothers tend to judge themselves through their friends eyes, which light ever so accusingly on a scraggly beard or spiked hairdo and light up with admiration to titles and wealth. Respect, responsibility and a generous spirit may not be so readily apparent, but that’s where a mothers’ real work shows.
Sometimes her success is only revealed through hard chiseling, the crushing, unexpected blows of life-changing events. Strength of character, determination and loyalty are gold medals in the motherhood Olympics, and like all gold medals, it takes years of dedicated effort to achieve them. An adult who can handle crises with courage and tragedy without bitterness is the child of a tremendously successful mother.
Mothers take the blame for their children’s failures, and age has no bearing on it at all. No matter how old she is or they are, not a day goes by that she doesn’t watch them for signs of improvement. She doesn’t miss an opportunity for one more lesson. Mothers understand that repetition is the key to learning. It’s always a rhetorical question when they say, “How many times do I have to tell you?’” Mothers know the answer is “As many times as it takes!” But, the things that Momma says are about being careful, clean and kind. They are about doing right and being responsible. They are about going to work and showing up on time.
They are the things that stay with us till the end. They are the cords running through generations that keep families, communities and countries whole and strong.
And one day, when Momma has said everything she is going to, every daughter and every son says, “I wish I could have had her a little longer.” PL
Copyright © 2005-2006 A Woman's View. All rights reserved.
Femme Fair 2006
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