A priest molests a child. A quarterback hits his wife. A chief financial
officer cooks the books. A senator drives drunk. A preacher cruises
for sex. A coach, a teacher, a doctor, a President – the list
keeps growing, giving new, dark meaning to the concept of “job
opportunity”.
We keep asking “Should these people be held to a higher standard
of behavior?’ No, they should not.
They should be held to the everyday, ordinary standards that have
defined human decency for centuries. The standards of decency do not
move like a high jump bar. Integrity isn’t shuffled like a shell
game, now you see it, now you don’t.
It is not a question of “higher” standards. Are there
lower standards by which it is actually OK to molest a child? Are
there some standards under which it is acceptable to beat a woman,
drive drunk, lie, cheat, steal or betray trust?
I don’t hold my President to any higher standard than I hold
my insurance agent. I don’t want either one to lie, cheat or
screw around. I don’t expect more honesty from a corporate treasurer
than I do from the clerk at the cleaners. I wouldn’t welcome
being fondled by a preacher any more than I would welcome it from
the meter reader. It is no better to be ripped off by a broker than
it is by a purse-snatcher.
Lying, stealing, cheating, and exploiting others is wrong no matter
what your address or title. Whether it is a cubicle, a trailer, a
pulpit or an executive suite, it is wrong to use your office for personal
profit or personal pleasure. It doesn’t matter if you are overpaid,
underpaid or unpaid, it is simply wrong to hurt others.
People who work with children have the opportunity to betray trust
in the deepest, most damaging ways. But, the standard of behavior
is the same whether you are a priest or a mailman.
It isn’t enough to agree that awful behaviors by people in
respected positions are a shame. We don’t need to raise our
standards; we just need to implement them. Bullies and thieves are
made, not born. They exist through our love. They thrive on our forbearance.
They are our fathers, our husbands, our brothers and our sons. Because
we love them, we forgive, we excuse, we overlook, we allow.
We can’t afford to do that anymore. We need to teach our sons
what is right. We must show them and tell them, everyday. We must
insist on their adherence to the standards of behavior we know to
be right. We can’t let them loose on the world believing they
are above or beyond the rules. We can’t keep excusing breaches
of courtesy that grow to breaches of humanity.
Women make up half of our population. We need to speak up and stand
up, even if we are scared, even if it hurts, about the things we know
to be absolutely wrong. We need to do it now.
We can’t leave this mess for our daughters.
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