As I See It / October 2006
Lie of the Land
There are lots of ways to lie-little lies, big lies, white lies, and lies that are consuming black holes.
There is perhaps some truth in the argument that lies keep people civilized. An honest answer to “How are you?” might leave many running for cover against the bilious outpouring. Truthful responses to “Did you like my book, my act, my cake?” might have an unjustifiably high cost in broken spirits. The eternal question, “How do I look?”, seems to require at least a carefully measured reply.
So some light, little lies, misdemeanors in a felonious world, get graded on a curve. Neatness and good intentions count.
But, light little lies, originally of little poundage when weighed on the “what harm can it do?” scale, plump up considerably when they begin to do service as a dodge, when they provide the easy out for irresponsibility.
The easy out to checks that weren’t mailed, work not turned in, appointments not kept, calls not made, and, the ever popular, late arrival, is a little lie. The post office gets blamed, the server gets blamed, the cell phone gets blamed. It was traffic, it was people, it was, above all, someone else’s fault.
“The dog ate my homework” excuse can only go so far, especially if the dog gets beaten for it. The homework still has to be done, only now it’s an irritant as well as a chore.
The lies to cover inefficiency, ignorance, thoughtlessness and discourtesy seem to require someone else take the fall.
Perhaps that’s their real harm. Any time an individual chooses not to take responsibility for their decision, their mistake, their action, they lose something important. It’s as though they lose a particle of their integrity. Like those thousand-piece jigsaw puzzles, when only one piece is missing, it’s hardly noticeable. But, the more pieces end up on the floor, the worse the picture gets.
Blaming someone or something else just darkens the deed.
Taking responsibility for omissions, misdeeds and transgressions is a powerful character builder. Children are constantly encouraged to tell the truth, to own up to their mistakes. The tale of George, the ax and the cherry tree is repeated ad nauseum till about age thirteen.
Adults are expected to have learned the lesson.
Maybe it’s time for a refresher course.
There’s no pride in admitting a mistake, confessing a stupid move or explaining a lapse. But the shame is in shaking off the responsibility, oozing away from the consequences, edging out of the obligation, putting the burden of blame on someone else’s shoulders.
Mitigating factors, like gnats, are always buzzing about. It’s easier to shuffle off in their dust than stand up and face the heavy prospect of blame. The little lies are so handy, so convenient, they’re almost irresistible.
Resist anyway.
It’s embarrassing, even painful to admit to a screw up, but taking responsibility for every action, even when it’s regrettable, is how to keep the fragile skin of integrity intact, how to keep the thousand-piece- picture of who we are, and what we are, forever whole. PL
Copyright © 2007 A Woman's View. All rights reserved.
Top • Home • Subscribe • Advertise • Submit • Distribution • Contact
Support Our Advertisers • Organization Resources • Women Owned Business
Designed by Livewire Studio
