Health News / January 2007
Last Laugh
Laughter affects human physiology in many ways and research indicates humor can have restorative, even regenerative qualities. Laughter actually reduces pain because the body produces pain-killing hormones called endorphins in response to laughter. It also strengthens immune function. A good belly laugh increases production of T-cells, interferon and immune proteins called globulins. And, laughter also decreases the effects of stress. Under stress, the body produces a hormone called cortisol. Laughter significantly lowers cortisol levels and returns the body to a more relaxed state. Maybe health really is a laughing matter. If so, here’s to women living well, living longer and laughing together.
Erma Bombeck:
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Billie Burke:
Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
Lily Tomlin:
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth:
If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here next to me.
Elizabeth Adamson:
A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.
Elayne Boosler
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Carrie Fisher:
Instant gratification takes too long.
Roseanne Barr:
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month I can be myself.
I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I’ve done my job.
I know how to do anything. I’m a mom.
Elizabeth Taylor:
The problem with people who have no vices is you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Rita Rudner:
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
When I meet a man, I ask myself, ‘Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
My mother buried three husbands. Two of them were just napping.
Nancy Astor:
I married beneath me. All women do.
Dorothy Parker:
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant-and let the air out of the tires.
The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘Check enclosed’.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Helen Rowland:
When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one three steps ahead is the one that’s mad.
Agatha Christie:
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Copyright © 2007 A Woman's View. All rights reserved.
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