Mixing at holiday parties isn’t always fun or easy. Many business
professionals attending a party or open house want to run home and
lock the door. They aren’t alone. It’s common for people
to feel apprehensive about situations where they don’t know
anyone. Keeping conversation going during social occasions can be
an ordeal.
Still, these occasions are opportunities to develop business friendships
and broaden networks. Conscious or not, networking happens all the
time.
Some people view small talk as inconsequential, but it is the prelude
to every relationship. Small talk can turn a challenging situation
or awkward social gathering into a success. Small talk connects people,
simply and comfortably, whether the setting is business or social.
Though technical skills are carefully taught, conversational skills
rarely are. Yet, the ability to talk easily with anyone is a learned
skill, not a personality trait. Once learned, it helps anyone develop
rapport with new people and leaves a positive, much longer lasting
impression than the exchange of business cards.
Debra Fine, author of “The Fine Art of Small Talk” offers
these tips to improve small talk skills.
Be the first to smile and the first to say ‘hello’. Introduce
yourself and others to new arrivals. Always shake hands when meeting
someone. Take the time during introductions to pay attention. Make
an extra effort to remember names, and use names frequently during
conversation.
Maintain eye contact in any conversation. Many people in a group
of three or more people look around in the hope that others in the
group will maintain eye contact on their behalf. However, people don’t
feel listened to if you’re not looking at them.
Get somebody to talk about why they’re attending the event
and the conversation begins to flow. Be sure to show an interest in
every person. The more interest shown, the more wise and attractive
we become to others. Listen carefully for information that can keep
the conversation going.
Remember, people want to be with people who make them feel special,
more than with people who are special. Take responsibility for making
people feel like they’re the only person in the room.
When someone asks, “How’s business?” or “What’s
going on?” Answer more than “Not much”. Tell more
so others can learn more.
Don’t act like an F.B.I. agent. Questions like: “What
do you do?” “Are you married?” “Do you have
children?” and “Where are you from?” lead to dead
end conversations.
Be aware of body language. Nervous or ill-at-ease people make others
uncomfortable. Act confident and comfortable, even if it is just an
act.
Be prepared. Spend a few minutes before an event preparing to talk
easily about three topics. They will come in handy in the middle of
an awkward moment or seated at a table where everyone is playing with
their food.
Show an interest in the other person’s opinion, too.
Be prepared with exit lines. Move around and meet others.
on’t melt from conversations. Make a positive impression by
shaking hands and saying goodbye when leaving.
Understand that every encounter involves a little risk, but keep
looking for new people to meet. Being interested and interesting makes
friends and lively conversations.
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